A weekend in the life of Me, as written by my other half

Marco's Weekend achievements
Friday evening
Came home from work, showered and dressed in Kylie approved clothing. Attended Jayden's 5th birthday party at Macdonalds, Willows. Went to grandma's for a nap before going home.

Saturday
Got up at 7:30 am. Buried the dog's breakfast, refilled his water dishes and watered the potplants. Fed the children's breakfast and changed Zac's Nappy. Cut way back, the wild, unruly, mealy bug infested rose bushes, and weeded wild overgrown front garden beds. Looked after Belinda, Felicia, and Zachary while Kylie took Nikolas to a party for the entire morning.

Helped Kylie and Felicia to wash the work van, dug some more weeds out of the wild overgrown front gardens. Had leftovers for dinner. Watched "Carry on Sergeant" on video with Kylie. Read some of "The Fork", and "The Economist"(dry, often boring political diatribe written by people who think they know more than God), and fixed the DVD player, voiding any possible warranty on aforementioned product. Went to sleep once again leaving wife to amuse herself.

Sunday
Got up at 7:30 am. Buried the dog's breakfast, refilled his water dishes and watered the potplants. Fed the children's breakfast and changed Zac's Nappy. Weeded more wild overgrown front gardenbeds, put sprinkler on grass in back yard. Came in and had breakfast and coffee. Had argument with wife over the fact that she occasionally leaves dirty dishes in the sink meaning that there is less room for me to leave the myriad of dirty dishes in the sink that I like to put there. Stood around and watched as wife once again did dirty dishes. Dried three dishes in an attempt to seem helpful.
Ate more of wife's fabulous leftovers, also gave some to kids. Sat down and watched some rather dull television show about genetic modification in canola farming in Canada and how it relates to Australian farming, and the live export of sheep to the middle East, and a bunch of data relating to agriculture and livestock prices in Australia which will never be of any use to me at any time of my life expectancy. (Landline)
Watched fabulously funny video with wife, "Carry on Nurse". Put Zac down for a nap, got wife to tell other kids not to make noise and wake him up. Took wife to bed and showed her my prowess as an incredible Italian lover. Had a shower.
Watched Belinda play "Winged Warrior". Fed kids some more. They never seem to stop eating. Read some more of the Economist, and made myself a Cappucino. Wife made me a banana smoothie which was truly divine. Went back outside and helped wife to wash her car. Hoped for rain which was a real fizzer. Went inside and ranted and raved at wife because I didn't think she was cooking my dinner of roast pork and vegetables fast enough for my ravenous appetite. Watched "Just shoot me" on TV while preventing wife from unchaining herself from the stove.
Ate my dinner. Left my plate on the dining room table; I'm sure it will just pick itself up and miraculously become clean for the next time I want to eat off it.
Had a shower while demanding wife stands around in awe and wonder at the magnificence of my naked body. Instructed wife to provide me with a type written record of the eventsof my weekend so that when the minions ask me about my weekend on monday, I won't have to bother thinking about it. Lay about while she did it making revolting smells with my butt and laughing about it. Fed the dog scraps from dinner. Went to bed leaving wife to amuse herself again.